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| | Fri, 06 Nov 2009 08:40:00 +0000 | | | From a mom on our forum: My college aged daughter has recently begun to "out" herself as lesbian to certain family members and a few friends. We have known about & willingly & lovingly accepted her as lesbian for many, many months now. Recently she outed herself to some friends and their children (age 7, 10 & 12). When I asked why she outed herself to their children, she got upset with me. I only asked because she is so worried about the wrong people finding out and i was afraid these kids might share her secret. She hasn't even told her two brothers yet (one much younger and one about her same age). She was only home from college for a few days, but she withdrew herself from me & my husband any chance she could. She refused to give me a hug good-by when she went back to the dorms. In our phone conversations, I almost always end by saying "i love you" and she won't respond with the same. We have told her many times that we love her & support her and only want her to be happy. But now, she has begun to withhold her love from us. When my husband tried to ask her about this, she either completely ignores us as if we aren't even there or she makes up some excuse but still will not say "I love you too".
I think she may feel that we aren't supportive enough or proud of her for coming out. So we asked to her to let us know What she does want from us, but she never can seem to answer that question.
Read more... Daughter "Out" and Now Mean to Us originally appeared on About.com Parenting of Adolescents on Friday, November 6th, 2009 at 08:40:00. Permalink | Comment | Email this | |
| | Thu, 05 Nov 2009 07:44:56 +0000 | | | I'm not sure I am buying the new statistics making its rounds in the news and on the military blogs. It's says that 75% of today's youth are unfit to serve their country. While I do feel our country has a rude awaking pertaining to the health and welfare of our youth, I don't believe that 75% of all of our youth are unable to serve. Maybe 75% of the people who sign up to serve are unfit? Here is a quote from NavyTimes.com:
In a study being released Thursday in Washington, Education Secretary Arne Duncan and a group of retired military officers led by former Army Gen. Wesley Clark will sound the alarm bells and call young Americans' relative lack of overall fitness for military duty a national security threat. The group, Mission: Readiness, will release a report that draws on Pentagon data showing that 75 percent of the nation's 17- to 24-year-olds are ineligible for service for a variety of reasons.
According to the Pentagon, the ineligible population breaks down this way:
- Medical/physical problems, 35 percent.
- Illegal drug use, 18 percent.
- Mental Category V (the lowest 10 percent of the population), 9 percent.
- Too many dependents under age 18, 6 percent.
- Criminal record, 5 percent.
Asking our community: Maybe I'm not seeing what is right there in front of me, but this number seems off. What do you think? Please share your thoughts, advice and opinions in the comments area.
75% of Teens Today Are Unfit to Serve in the Military. Really? originally appeared on About.com Parenting of Adolescents on Thursday, November 5th, 2009 at 07:44:56. Permalink | Comment | Email this | |
| | Fri, 30 Oct 2009 09:50:39 +0000 | | | A mom on the forum asks: My son is almost 17 years old and he thinks he is grown. He doesn't do anything around the house and he is failing in school. I do not like his friends, but what can I do about that? He has a girlfriend and I like her but everything else in his life is leading him down the wrong path. Everything from the way he dresses to the music he listens to, drives me crazy. I think he just goes to school to see his girlfriend and his friends. He has missed so many days, he will probably fail this year. I call his cell and finally about 25 minutes later he will call with some excuse. I do not know what to do, any help. I love my son so much, my husband says he is just being an teenager, his age and not to worry, but I can't help it.
Denise's thoughts: I would begin picking one problem out and working on it. His friends, his girlfriend, etc. are things you cannot control. Start by talking to him about school and the importance of looking towards his future. Find out why he feels he is failing and see if you can get together on a strategy for better attendance and grades. Tell him you are treating him like the soon-to-be-adult he is and that you feel he needs some guidance through this tough time he is facing, but the one thing you will not do is ignore it and let him fail at the start of his adult life.
Asking our community: What advice would you offer this mom? Please share your thoughts, advice and personal stories in our comments area.
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Son Just Coasting Through, Any Advice? originally appeared on About.com Parenting of Adolescents on Friday, October 30th, 2009 at 09:50:39. Permalink | Comment | Email this | |
| | Thu, 29 Oct 2009 08:35:39 +0000 | | | A worried mom wonders: My daughter is 13 yrs old.. She is a very outgoing, loving child. But constantly lies about everything. Simple things to very important matters. She is a child from a divorce parents. I divorced her father when she was 5. So, she is used to being passed back and forth and dealing with her parents arguments/discussions that pertain to her. Sometimes I think that she wants to lie about things to keep from her parents fighting about her. How can I stop this from getting worse?
Denise's thoughts: When you know your teen is lying to you , it is important to deal with the lying immediately. Too often, lying goes with another bad mistake in behavior and we discipline for the other behavior instead of the lying. Then lying starts to be a habit, which is something we want to avoid.
First, talk to your teen about why he/she is lying. Discuss how it makes you feel when you lose trust in him/her because of the lying. Then give a consequence. For an example, see this blog post on teen lying.
Let us know how it is going.
From our parenting community: Has your teen lied to you? What have you done to solve this problem? Share your thoughts and advice in the comments area or on the forum.
Your Advice Wanted: Help with Teen Lying Habit originally appeared on About.com Parenting of Adolescents on Thursday, October 29th, 2009 at 08:35:39. Permalink | Comment | Email this | |
| | Wed, 28 Oct 2009 08:36:00 +0000 | | | Update: The charges will hopefully be dropped against the teen girl if she follows through with the consequences. According to this article, the Passaic County Prosecutor's Office says the girl must undergo at least six months of counseling and probation and must stay out of trouble. If she does, all charges will be dropped.
It doesn't seem to unreasonable to me, what do you think?
The original story: The AP is reporting that a 14-year-old New Jersey girl has been arrested for child pornography after posting nearly 30 explicit nude pictures of herself on MySpace.com. These charges that could force her to register as a sex offender if convicted, which is ridiculous in my humble opinion.
The audacity of these charges is echoed by the mother of the girl whose name is on the sex registration law, Meagan's law. Maureen Kanka said in this online article, "This shouldn't fall under Megan's Law in any way, shape or form. The teen should have counseling and intervention because the only person she exploited was herself. Megan's Law is for sex offenders. These kids aren't sex offenders."
It's time the laws started moving at the same internet speed that our teens are moving - the same speed they expect parents to figure out and move. Our courts don't stand behind COPPA, but we can charge a 14-year-old girl with child pornography distribution when she sends a picture of herself to her boyfriend via an internet social website. Unreasonable, ludicrous, absurd - just can't seem to find the right word to cover it.
Thoughts? Share them in the comments area.
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Teen Arrested for Sending Nude Pictures on Myspace originally appeared on About.com Parenting of Adolescents on Wednesday, October 28th, 2009 at 08:36:00. Permalink | Comment | Email this | |
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