 A couple of posts here have already touched on the importance of extended family, but there is so much more to say on the subject. Peter McCartney, who was trained as a nurse at St. Vincent's hospital in Sydney (but now works for the NSW government) rightly pointed out that we don’t always care for our intergenerational relationships as we should. “What is lacking,” Peter wrote, “is the continued support of the elderly well after their family and friends have passed on themselves.”
Another comment came from the United Kingdom. Robert noted that when he moved abroad his family felt the loss of their extended family support network. “Raising a family is tough without all of that,” he said, “grandparents should be around to pass on their life experiences. It’s great seeing the world, but I do wonder sometimes if the cost is too great.” These comments bring to mind a recent study on the subject of “Grand Cultures.” This term refers to what researcher Candace Kemp calls “patterns of relating between grandparents and grandchildren within families across and within generations.” It’s interesting that relationships are sometimes referred to as the fabric of society. If we think of the way fabric is woven we really begin to see how important it is that the threads run in more than one direction. If each generation mainly has relationships with peers (the threads only run one direction) the resulting fabric is weak in every area. We don’t have older, wiser people to model ourselves after. We expect everyone to think like us (because after all—our peers do). But one of the worst effects is that as we age, our support network ages with us. Our peers obviously won’t be in a position to care for us when we’re elderly because, in all likelihood, they’ll be needing care themselves. Nor will the younger generations be prepared to care for us. If they’re not accustomed to spending time with their older relatives, why would they value the contributions of the elderly to the extent that they would consider put ting themselves to the inconvenience of seeing to our daily needs? As a result, it’s unlikely they will care for us as we age either. Who will then? The result of such a pattern of disconnected relationships, as Peter McCartney noted, is that support for the elderly is sadly neglected. But neglect isn’t the worst case scenario, as this article on elder abuse points out. It seems to come down to the fact that those of us in the current “middle generation” are in the best position to facilitate good intergenerational relationships. Whether that involves encouraging interaction between our children and our parents, or mixing the generations up when we socialize (especially in the event we find ourselves far from extended family)—in either case we’re the ones with the greatest opportunity to ensure the fabric of society is tightly woven.
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