In response to the last post, one Family Matters reader commented: "In my high school classes, the pregnant moms are all aglow before, but shell-shocked after, the birth of their child. I haven't had a single one of them recommend the experience afterwards. Even so, many of the other girls envy them. I try, within the constraints of district policy, to help the girls find the self-esteem to want more of a future than such early parenthood ensures them, but it is an uphill battle." As teachers like Nita know—but many teens don't—parenthood is not all fun and games and cuddly babies who chortle happily in their prams. Take, for instance, a study undertaken by Ranae Evenson of Vanderbilt University and Robin Simon of Florida State University which was published in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior's December 2005 issue. Noting that preceding research had found that, in general, parents experience more emotional distress than non-parents, Evenson and Simon set out to discover whether certain types of parenthood cause more stress than others. Most relevant to the topic of teen pregnancy was the finding that "all types of single parents report higher symptom levels [of depression] than all types of married parents." Citing the emotional demands and stress of parenthood as the logical reason, Evenson and Simon further found that non-parents reported less depression than any type of parent, single or married. Now, this is not to say that raising children is a joyless task, or that the stress of parenting must invariably lead to depression. In fact, as all parents know, some of our most rewarding life moments are given to us by our children. And despite the fact that this study holds that parents don't have mental health advantages over others, the results also indicated that by the time parents become empty-nesters, there don't seem to be disadvantages either. But when all factors are taken together, the message seems to be that parenthood can be extremely rewarding when one is ready for it, but that it is not for children. Even when adults become parents, they need constant physical help, emotional support and a high capacity for personal resilience and self-sacrifice. Parenthood is not a cure for depression, loneliness or low self-esteem. Ideally, it would not be undertaken alone, and especially not by someone too young to handle the stressful demands that come with the territory. It's not only the welfare of the young, single mother that is at stake. When young mothers don't understand the needs of infants or have difficulty meeting those needs because they lack sufficient support, the crucial bond that needs to be created between parent and infant suffers. As a result, the next generation also may find itself looking for acceptance through risky behavior. Plainly teens do need more education about parenthood. But as family size shrinks and extended family scatters, fewer teens get that education at home through watching the daily example of family members caring for younger siblings or cousins. As a result, it becomes easier to romanticize motherhood—especially for young girls who may feel there is something missing in their lives. School administrators do their best to fill the educational void—but is it only the gaps in sexual knowledge that trip up teens, or could ignorance about the kind of care infants require and what it takes to parent a child be part of the problem too? On reflection, it may be that the real rub lies in the fact that as parents of these teens, we ourselves have much to learn about what children really need if they are to grow into happy, productive and responsible adults. | 
