195041 Resource 190283 190808 190808 1200646758632 1200937699657 Controlled The Single Parent Controversy

Does family research stigmatize single mothers and their children?

<p><font face="verdana,arial,helvetica,sans-serif" size="2"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/your_teacher/?search=YTaP"><img height="327" alt="Image by Lynn Ytap Flickr" hspace="7" src="http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d71/gstepp525/ImagebyLynnYtap29243563_2fa0d749-1.jpg" width="319" align="right" vspace="7" border="0" /></a>Before we finish talking about singles, it seems appropriate to consider the particular challenges of single parents.&nbsp;If I revert to using the term&nbsp;&quot;single mothers&quot; more often than not, it's only because single parents tend to <em>be</em> mothers more often than not.</font></p><p>The most common accusations made against &quot;family restorationists&quot;&nbsp; have to do with political and economic concerns. For instance,&nbsp;in an essay titled &quot;Politics of Family Structure,&quot; author and family&nbsp;scholar <a href="http://www.scu.edu/ethics/publications/other/lawreview/familystructure.html">Arlene Skolnik</a>&nbsp;says that<span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "><font color="#000000">&mdash;</font></span>although there are some &quot;family restorationists&quot; who aren't trying to introduce <em>drastic</em> legislation<span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "><font color="#000000">&mdash;</font></span><em>most</em> of them:</p><blockquote dir="ltr" style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px"><p>use a language of moral failure and cultural decline to account for family change. They <em>all </em>seek to revive the stigma that used to surround divorce and single motherhood. To change the cultural climate, they call for government and media campaigns like those that have been successful against smoking and drinking. They also propose a number of policy changes, including making divorce harder, or even outlawing it, for parents with minor children. Some have also advocated restrictions on AFDC [Aid for Dependent Children]&nbsp;benefits to unmarried mothers. </p><p>The well-being of American children should be an urgent concern of policymakers. Focusing our national attention on the needs and problems of families raising children could be enormously positive. However, the current family structure crusade is playing by the family values scripts of the l980's. The result is that the issue is framed, &quot;Are you for or against the two-parent family?&quot; This approach paints critics into an anti-family corner. This approach of stigmatizing single parents, cutting off welfare, and restricting access to divorce may harm large numbers of children and deepen the very social ills they are trying to remedy. </p></blockquote><p dir="ltr">If we're honest with ourselves, we must admit that trying to untangle the economic and political threads of the problem enough to attempt to legislate human relationships is futile. But not all family restorationists are seeking to stigmatize&nbsp;single mothers or attempting to influence legislation.&nbsp;The strength of&nbsp;human relationships&nbsp;is&nbsp;determined by&nbsp;the interactions of individuals, not by government institutions.</p><p dir="ltr"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/cayusa/2051756510/"><img height="255" alt="Image by Bart (Cayusa) Flickr" hspace="7" src="http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d71/gstepp525/ImagebyBartCayusaFlickr2051756510_c.jpg" width="322" align="left" vspace="7" border="0" /></a>Why&nbsp;must acknowledging that fathers are important in their children's lives stigmatize single mothers? What it <em>should</em> do, is inform the entire community&nbsp;about the&nbsp;special&nbsp; challenges single mothers face, and encourage&nbsp;others to form relationships&nbsp; beyond&nbsp;nuclear&nbsp;family lines&nbsp;within their communities. It should also encourage good&nbsp;fathers to spend quality time with their children so mothers don't bear the full responsibility alone.&nbsp;</p><p dir="ltr" align="left">If it helps&nbsp;motivate those in troubled marriages to strengthen their relationships and revive the love they once had, that also has to be a good thing for each parent as well as for their children.&nbsp;After all, personal growth is constructive, and restoring relationships requires a deep level of personal growth for both partners because there is rarely only one person at fault when relationships break down.&nbsp;However, no&nbsp;thinking person would&nbsp;suggest that a mother should remain&nbsp;in a violent&nbsp;or abusive relationship&nbsp;just so her children can have a father.&nbsp;</p><p dir="ltr" align="left">Rather than stigmatizing or ostracizing,&nbsp;research&nbsp;that points out&nbsp;the importance of&nbsp; family relationships should&nbsp;inspire a single mother's surrounding community to do just that<span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: "><font color="#000000">&mdash;</font></span>surround, encourage, help. And there are many practical ways each of us can participate, without pushing legislation or having any official standing. <a title="Single Mothers" href="http://www.vision.org/visionmedia/article.aspx?id=4016" target="_blank">Here are some</a>. But there are certainly more.</p> 9 application/xml false divorce family relationships single mothers single parents Singles Mikki Morrissette presents tips to help single mothers raise sons. "There are many reasons why it is more challenging for single mothers to raise boys-and knowing those reasons can help a mother do it better," says Morrissette. http://searchmothers.com/features/feature_boy_brains.php Of all the difficulties single mothers face, their most distressing one may involve coming to grips with the current understanding about fathers. However, single mothers can raise healthy, happy children. Vision interviews Kathy Stevens of the Gurian Institute to find out how single mothers can help their children find positive male role models. http://www.vision.org/visionmedia/article.aspx?id=4016 Not to ignore the fact that many single parents are dads, DIYFather.com is a great site created by Wellington, NZ-based dads Scott Lancaster, Eric Mooij and Stefan Korn who recognised the need for a dedicated website for fathers. These three dedicated fathers were inspired by their own experiences of struggling to find useful parenting related information from a male perspective. http://diyfather.com/ Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 7.0; Windows NT 5.1; Avant Browser; SU 3.005; .NET CLR 1.0.3705; .NET CLR 1.1.4322; InfoPath.1; .NET CLR 2.0.50727) 127.0.0.1 127.0.0.1 gstepp 216.175.79.121 false true false false true 191587 false false true false false false true 195165 Resource 191587 173239 190808 1200883440128 1200894585767 Controlled Great article

<p>Hey Gina</p><p>Great article this is a great site, we fully support what you are doing.</p><p>Thanks Scott</p><p><a href="http://www.diyfather.com">www.diyfather.com</a></p> 9 application/xml